4.06.2006

maybe more than you bargained for

How far would you go to use a 20% off coupon at a really great yarn shop? 25 miles? 100 miles?

What if you had a "20% off your whole purchase" coupon for a yarn store that was 614.3 miles away from home? Is it worth almost 10 hours in the car (one way) plus about $40 worth of gasoline, at least two fast-food/on the road meals, and a sore ass? I still want to say YES! sign me up! when do we leave?! Besides, travelling and shopping helps the economy, I haven't seen Shannon in a month and the yarn shop in question just happens to be less than a mile from her apartment, and the most important argument, I NEED more yarn.

*** WARNING***change of subject with no segue***

So last Saturday I went to see a psychic. This was not a cheesy, read your palm, crystal ball gazing, tell your future type psychic. She is a "metaphysical counselor". It was such a fun and eye opening, emotional, goose-bump inducing, tear producing experience. It was an hour of her telling me some things I knew about myself already but maybe weren't obvious, she introduced me to two of my spirit guides, I learned just a little bit about past lives, my relationship with my immediate family and something about this "power" she kept referring to that apparently I have but am afraid to use. That part confused me. She told me I am an old soul, and that this is definitely not my first lifetime as an artist.

Of course, I have been thinking about everything she said a lot and coming up with SO many questions I want to ask next time. So much so that I want to make an appointment to see her again, like, RIGHT NOW. I want to ask about Olive and why that experience happened to me and why it had to turn out the way it did and what I was supposed to learn from it. (I realize I have never really explained the whole Olive situation, it will come. in due time.) I also want some help with my headaches, and I wonder if she could help me with that. I have questions about what she told me in our session on Saturday about the greif I carry and how I can heal it. She told me that I have a "long thread of grief running through my emotional core" and that it is old and not necessarily mine. She said I have a way of "helping" people grieve, but it's not much help for them or me because I take it from them so that I have to deal with it, and they can't deal and get over it. That may sound like foooey, but it totally makes sense to me. I am always the first one to start crying... even BALLING at funerals, movies, tv, radio commercials... seriously, On-Star commercials should not make me cry, but they do, and it doesn't matter what day of the month it is. The best example of this is when Leah's mom Michele got sick, and sicker and passed only 6-months later, I was a wreck. I couldn't even tell my boss and co-workers I'd be gone the day of the funeral because I would lose it and look like a bumbling idiot trying to get the words out. So I had to email them, and I even asked in the email, tactfully, but with the basic message being, don't try to talk to me about it. Most of them complied; others didn't and got the bumbling idiot I knew would come out. Of course I am sad and miss Michele, but I think bigger than that, was that I can so easily put myself in someone else's place, that I was feeling Leah's grief. I was worried about her and how she would handle it and get through it. And of course want to help her in any way I possibly can. As soon as I saw her speak at the memorial, of course I cried through the whole thing, but I felt better after because I knew she would be ok. Wow, this is going off to a place I wasn't prepared to post about. I guess I'll just finish it up with, Leah, I am sorry I took some of your grief from you and I apologize in advance for giving it back to you, when I figure out how.

That was a little too heavy for a fiber art/knitting blog, dontcha think? So, let's end with some appropriate content. School tonight, dying gradations and color ranges for the impending quilt. I think it'll be a tree... that's the idea in my head at the moment. I was working on some Remazol/reactive dyes for the quilt, but they didn't turn out like I thought. So they'll probably get scrapped. (just not used for this project, not thrown away or anything, who do you think I am?!) I'd like to do some potato dextrin and a little more remazol this semester, but I think I'll proabably run out of time. Critique is the 20th, so that is coming real quick!

1 comment:

Shannon said...

COME TO THE YARN STORE COME TO THE YARN STORE NOW! I'll be up to my flat white ass with school until May 3rd or 5th or something, but after that I should be totally free until June 5th. Buy yarn and boost the economy! USA! USA! Maybe if you buy enough yarn, gas prices will go down! Let's find out! I've been so very all alone and bugging everyone to come and visit me, that knowing my luck, I'll end up with everyone wanting to come down at the same time and it will become a problem instead of wonderful. Oh well. Lindsay's talking about coming down for my birthday, I'm probably going to go to Chicago some time in May to check out UIC (if I get in), and Todd is trying to save up the money to come down some time in May as well. Wow, all of this information would have been far more appropriate in an e-mail rather than as a comment on your blog, eh? Hello people who like to knit, sew and quilt and read about knitting, sewing and quiltting. haha. See what being in the mountians and doing nothing but reading books and writing papers will do to you?